Hello everyone!
As we head full-on into the holidays, we can feel pulled in a lot of directions…from excitement to exhaustion, optimism to overwhelm.
It can be tough to find peace and joy with expectations from family, friends and co-workers, all while comparing ourselves to the perfect lives we see on social media. Most of us already have really full plates, and finding room for holiday to-dos can make this time of year stressful and less than jolly. Often, we hop on the Holiday Machine without really thinking about what important to us, this year, based on what our goals are right now.
Stuff that can fuel the Holiday Machine:
- Your cousin wants you to fly to the family get together to help buffer potential family divide over politics but the anticipated tension and travel stress gives you a headache just considering it
- You are the one who always does all the hosting and shopping and cooking and you just don’t want to do all the work by yourself this year
- You’ve been focused on healthy eating or a specific food plan and you don’t want to blow it with “it’s just one day” pressure at a Friendsgiving
- You are so over Black Friday emails and discounts and overwhelmed with who should get a gift, what will they like; you hate that huge credit card bill and it all starts to feel meaningless and impersonal
- It’s been a crazy couple years and by necessity, our holiday celebrations have been simpler and more contained..and you realize you really like it that way
- The idea of having to spend your own free time on an evening or weekend at a company holiday party makes you resentful…you’ve already taken on so much this year at work
- You’re thinking: “Just put me on a plane and send me to a remote island so I can avoid the whole thing because I don’t know where to start”
What if you could let go of some obligation and pressure and make the holidays your own? Easier said than done, I know.
So, what to do? The idea of boundaries naturally comes up here. But, initially that idea can feel heavy or hard: conflict, hurt feelings, saying No. Alternately, I like to think about the word ‘space’. To me, the idea of space allows you to walk a a little lighter and freer until you find something really worthy to fill it. It also can feel more positive, like something valuable you hold…a Yes for yourself.
Maybe you’re not ready to jump on a plane to a remote island, but even small daily choices can make a cumulative impact this Holiday Season.
Here are some questions that can help you consider your holiday plans and what might carve out a season that feels a little more like You:
- In order to make space for a holiday activity, what other regular task or obligation might you be able to pause though the rest of the year? In essence, what could you trade over the next few weeks to be “even” on your to-do list?
- What goal or habit have you been working on that is be important to maintain through the holidays? How does this goal or habit make you feel and/or help you cope when things get crazy?
- What are your non-negotiable holiday activities? What events or experiences will you remember next year, in 5 years or in 10 years?
- If you think about holiday activities as a fuel tank, which ones leave you full and more energized vs. which ones leave you feeling depleted and approaching empty?
- When looking at an activity, event or task, what is its essence? What is the main aspect that make it special? Is there a way to simplify it to that one focus and let some other peripheral details go?
If you want to dig a little deeper, share ideas, listen and learn, I’d invite you check out a group coaching workshop that targets these kinds of topics:
- The Holidays Your Way is the topic of this month’s Wellness Wednesday, where we’ll share ideas about creating space for the holiday season that benefits you and where you’re going in the year ahead.
- If you like the idea of Making Space, we’ll be digging deep in January around the idea of purging to make some room for what’s to come, even if you don’t know exactly what. Creating space could be letting go of stuff, habits, even people. Walking a little lighter can let us see opportunities and feel more ready for next steps.